Let me preface this by saying I am not crafty.
I woke up last week with an image in my head, an amalgam of a landscape I've been wanting to shoot layered with a model, and an outfit, and props. At lunch I found myself fumbling through the fabric store, buying felt and beads and sequins. The little voice that whispers this is absurd, this is not what you do was drowned out by the voice that said oh what the hell? If it turns out to be ridiculous, no one ever has to know.
I diligently sewed shiny bits to scraps of fabric last weekend, and when my confused mother and stepfather asked what are you doing? all I could say was maybe this is a mania, or maybe this is production value.
If you've been coming here long enough, you know that when I shoehorn photography into my day it is by shooting what happens to be in front of me. When I am successful, I manage to see it in an artful way. But lately I feel unsatisfied with that. I find myself dwelling in questions:
What differentiates this from any other snapshot?
How do I know if it's any good?
How can I make this more of a process?
How can I push this further?
I have an urge to bring more intention to this work. I have the urge to take a deep breath and dive further into the medium, to see if something uniquely mine exists there. I want to finally learn to use supplemental light, to master Photoshop, to play with storytelling.
I don't know if sequins and beads will lead me to where I want to go, but just in case it was the voice of the muse talking in my ear, I'll follow and see if anything interesting comes.